I needed the Lord. My heart was confused seeking the light of the Lord. I wanted to find love and knowledge. My heart cried upon the Lord. My mind wondered for the intellect which the fathers talked about in many writings. I needed Jesus, and no one knew… I needed love, and no one knew. The reality of where I was five years ago and where I am now it’s completely different. I was surrounded by the demons that tried to control me and I could not find happiness, but in the depths of the world, he reached to me.
I did not know what Christianity was, nor did I know who Christ truly was [is]. Christ had become more of the ideology of a perfect God in which we based metaphysics than my savior and someone I knew personally. Yet, in the days of my internal struggles and in which I encountered depression; I was able to discover Byzantine Christianity. At first, I was reluctant, it was an expression of Christianity foreign to me. I knew nothing besides internet blogs (and word of advice, do not get your theology from blogs). Thankfully, I encountered many friendships that I made that helped me out of that hole of darkness that I was living in.
To the many priests that I have met, thank you. To the many friends that I made mad, forgive me. First and foremost, I thank Fr Tom for the many years of spiritual guidance and for putting up with my many crazy views. To Fr Justin Mcdonnell for the many years of spiritual guidance and friendships that have developed over the last five years. To Fr Athanasius McVay, a great thanks for all the inquiries on the history of the Ukrainian Greek Catholic Church. To Metropolitan Borys for listening to me, I am very thankful for giving the time for a young man that needed Jesus… and finally to Abbot Nicholas of Holy Resurrection monastery for opening the doors to his monastery for me to visit when I needed the most. I am especially very thankful for the many kind hours, he spent talking to me in private. To the many Orthodox and Catholic priests that I have not mentioned here, for there are many of you… thank you. Those five minutes of chatting or emailing me back truly changed me. To all my friends from various churches, thank you for your different perspectives and mutual friendship. My life has been completely transformed in the last five years… and I am thankful for that.
In the Ukrainian Church, in her history and love, I hope to find a permanent home. I hope to grow along with her, struggle with her, defend her and one day, be called onto the ages of ages while serving her. I am not Ukrainian, but yet, the Lord has set me on this path. My ancestors inhabited mountains, and I hope to inhabit a life with people whom the Lord has blessed with many martyrs. In the moments of darkness, I found the beauty of Fr Omelyan Kovch, Fr Roman Lysko, Kyr Vasyl Velychkovsky, Kyr Andrii Sheptypsky, and Kyr Josyf Slipij… and every day, I discover the beauty of another saint hidden amid the Ukrainian church. I do not know where I will be in five years, but I do know that my salvation will not be possible without the prayers of my brothers and sisters and the Ukrainian Church that transformed St Volodymyr as well as me.
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