Putting my thoughts on paper it's often something that I have struggle with. It is not because I am unable, but because I do not want to come out as uncharitable across to others, or to encounter others who are uncharitable towards my work. Yet as the time has passed, these written thoughts have become perhaps fundamental to my understanding of the ecclesiastical categories which the Churches, or rather said, the Church observes. Nevertheless, it is in this world of confusion, secularism and everlasting technological advances that the fault of institutions either religious or secular have come to light from multiple sources.
The Church is imperfect... it would be a lie to say otherwise like often many sides of the churches have done so. This is the focus of my thoughts, we have fixated ourselves on the thought of respect and obey. While these are good, they have been abused by those in charge of the church to rule her according to their political views rather than truly spreading the message of Christ. Looking at Catholicism, how often haven't we experienced the bias in the historical views that the Church was not influenced by political powers like "those Orthodox" were? Yet, looking from the Orthodox point of view, a similar argument is made towards Catholics, how greatly influenced by the Franks are the Roman bishops that they have been corrupted and fallen into error. Both sides like to point fingers at each other while talking about perfection, yet neither takes the necessary step to look at one's sins.
I am by far a scholar, and I am much less of a historian, I write this as a layperson that has read a lot of books on Orthodox and Catholic theology and history. The Church and I will speak of both as one (and even if you disagree with this, please continue to read) it's destroyed. She was fractured into multiple pieces on the call of the emperors, princes, kings, and bishops. Divided and made easier to be conquered by the forces of the secular world, that which it's falling. We ignore the truth in front of us, the historical reading and re-grouping of the Church. The so-called nobles have walked over her to shape her plenty of times not after Christ, but after themselves. The reason we dislike tyrants as Henry the VIII is not that they erred, but because they preached something we have been told is wrong by our bishops. Yet, both East and West have indeed even canonized men whose controversial involvement in the Church has left even in some cases genocides and wars. I am not claiming that the Church has lost its mystical characteristic handed down by the Apostles, rather they have become opaque by the secularity of the daily world.
The Franks messed with the Church, The Germans messed with the Church, and so did the Byzantines, the Spanish, and all who had power. They wanted to be only themselves. The church then served them as an institution to regulate citizens, slaves, and even other nobles. The Church was perhaps for [many] of them not a Divine institution, but it was indeed a great political arm to control. In these matters, how can we not but be saddened by the current state of the Church? Some in error like to blame the last council which the Western held in Vatican City as the pivotal point that allowed for such decay. Yet, if they have tried to read the historical accounts of Christianity rather than allowing their pride to consume them, they would have realized that Vatican II was not the pivotal point, but that these errors date back to the ancient Church.
Now, for those that know me, all of you know fairly well that I desire to be a priest, and yet, I put these thoughts forward. First, all I can say is that I will be obedient to my bishop, but I will also be honest. I will not hinder in shadows hiding my thoughts and opinions of these key topics. The reality of the situation calls for such. Second, it is only in recognizing these major spots of sins and error that have opaqued the light of the church as within her human characteristics that we can only hope, and hope is all we can do, to rescue her from the crumbling place she is at. Third, I believe in her. I do not mean these in just mere aspects of faith, even though, I will honestly say they are included and rooted in my views. I believe that within her historical account the pride of men can still be killed by the knights of the church, just like St George's faith showed us to. The church dedicated to the faith of Christ, and the servitude of those in need remains there even if often opaqued by even modern political ideologies. It is thus that I desire to join her, sacrifice my day and night for her and her children, bleed, sweat, laugh, cry, yell, sing and smile all for her and Christ will always remain.
At the same time and matter in which these occur, I want to emphasize the aspect of which events occur. The Church needs to accept her past, I am not asking her to even apologize, while that might be eventually the end goal. I am asking her to accept the aspects of which have hindered her. To accept her faults and to continue works for union among one another aspects of the church. As a church, we do not have the option to claim anymore pride, we are a church of sinners. There is no perfect church, but the church cannot be perfect. She is a church for sinners, she works to spread the necessary bread for the beggers while herself being in need. In reality, the church is a paradox, a matter which we cannot ignore. Prayers and asking for miracles are great, but we are the hands of Christ, the feet of Christ, the mouths of Christ. We are here to answer those prayers in need. We are not the new hope, we are the last hope.
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